


What Doesn’t Kill You...

by bewaretheboojum



Series: Dusk and Revenant [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Blood, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 23:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18353726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewaretheboojum/pseuds/bewaretheboojum
Summary: Tim helps Jason clean up after a fight.





	What Doesn’t Kill You...

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a sprint challenge with the Capes and Coffee Crew!!

The cuts and abrasions weren't deep, but they did hurt like hell.

Jason grimaced as he made his way into his bathroom after a long, difficult patrol. He gingerly peeled his uniform top off and tossed it to the floor. He hissed slightly as he looked into the mirror to assess the damage.

Jason had tried to break up a planning meeting between Penguin and another gang that was just starting up operations on the West Side of Gotham City. Penguin had hired a new flunky with a lot a of aggressive, heavily clawed alien looking creatures that had done a number on Jason.

They are almost the size of dogs with claws as sharp and brutal as a cat. Four of them had managed to scratch Jason up before he managed to pull out some gas capsules and knock the damn things out.

As he looked at himself in the mirror, Jason saw that his chest and sides were crisscrossed in scratches, abrasions and contusions. Jason shook his head in mild horror and dug around under his sink for a first aid kit.

Jason had sat down on the side of his bathtub and was digging through the disorganized contents of his first aid kit when he heard the familiar buzzing of a door from the Bleed opening into his bedroom.

"Door close," Tim said and Jason heard the sound of the Bleed shutting off after Tim.

"I'm in the bathroom," Jason called to Tim.

Tim made his way tentatively to the open bathroom door and peered inside. He made a small sound of concern when he caught sight of Jason, covered in blood and cuts.

"What are you doing here?" Jason asked.

Tim was wearing his 'Dusk' uniform, mask and belts firmly in place. Jason wondered, briefly, if Tim had been out in Gotham that night too.

"You didn't answer my texts. I got worried," Tim said. "Guess my instincts were right on there."

He nodded to Jason's bloody chest with a sort of blank expression on his face that Jason didn't like.

"I'm ok," Jason said, and grinned at Tim. "You should see the other guy."

"Was the other guy a wolverine?" Tim called to Jason as he walked to Jason's linen closet. He came back into the bathroom with a navy blue wash cloth in hand.

"You'll need to clean those before you bandage them," Tim said in a even tone of voice that Jason hadn't heard from him before.

Tim filled Jason's sink with soapy water and dunked the washcloth in the suds. Kneeling beside Jason on the floor of the bathroom, Tim started to help Jason clean the wounds. Washing away blood, dirt and scraps of shredded T-shirt, Tim worked slowly and methodically to clean, then disinfect the wounds.

"Most of them are shallow enough that I don't think you need stitches," Tim said, eyeing Jason's chest. "Except this one."

Tim pointed to a cut on Jason's left pectoral muscle that was still oozing blood even after Tim had cleaned it.

"Butterfly stitch should do it, don't you think?" Jason asked.

"Yes, that should work," Tim said, pulling a few out of the first aid kit.

Jason didn't shout when Tim applied the butterfly stitches to Jason's skin, but his eyes were pricking with tears by the time Tim was done. Three stitches had the cut pretty well pieced back together. At that point, Tim just doused him in rubbing alcohol and applied bandages to cover the wounds. The whole operation had only taken about twenty minutes and Kon had been grateful for the help.

"So what did happen?" Tim asked, starting to clean up the wrapping from the bandages.

"Penguin's got some new critters that caught me by surprise, that's all," Jason said, regretfully deciding his shirt really was a total loss and he would have to throw it away.

"That doesn't sound good," Tim ventured and he tossed some papers and dirty gauze into the trash can by Jason's sink.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," Jason said, philosophically.

Tim gave Jason a grimly considering look.

"From my experience," Tim said coolly, "what doesn't kill you will likely try again."

"Yeah, that too," Jason agreed, grinning.

Tim shook his head and stood up to reach for the washrag he had left on the side of the skin. The soapy water in the sink had cooled as Tim worked and now it was tinged pink with blood.

Jason watched as Tim paused, hand outstretched toward the washcloth. He stood there, unmoving, just staring at the basin of soapy water, for several long, silent moments.

"Tim?" Jason said his name softly, coaxingly, and stepped in close to Tim. "You ok?"

If Jason hadn't had a mirror on his vanity, he wouldn't have caught the sick, terrified look that was on Tim's face for a split second before he shook his head and replied.

"I'm fine," Tim said and moved his head in a fast, aggressive gesture to pull the plug in Jason's sink and let the water flow down the drain. He spin away from Jason abruptly, wash rag in hand. He hung the rag over Jason's shower curtain rod, then walked briskly back into Jason's bedroom without a word.

"Babe?" Jason called, following after him. "You sure?"

When Jason followed Tim out to the bedroom, he found Tim standing in front of his window, staring out into the night, unseeing.

Jason came up behind him again and wrapped his arms around Tim from behind. Tim was still, muscles tight and joints locked, in Jason's arms.

Jason ducked his head to press a kiss to Tim's temple and squeeze him gently.

"You know I really am ok, right? I've gotten worse fighting with Damian's cat."

"I--" Tim started, but Jason heard his voice catch in the back of his throat.

"Yeah?" Jason coaxed, rocking them booth soothingly and trying to make out as much of TIm's expression as he could in the reflection in his bedroom window.

"I don't like blood. That's all..." Tim finished lamely.

"You don't like blood?" Jason asked, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"It-- It just reminds me of..." Tim shook his head abruptly and twisted out of Jason's arms and away from him.

Jason caught sight of Tim's face as he turned away from Jason yet again. His skin looked even more pale than usual. There was a sheen of sweat at his temples and the silver in his eyes had blown, expanding outward to swallow up most of the blue.

"If reminds you of what?" Jason asked, stepping in to follow Tim.

"I don't--" Tim began. “I don’t really want to get into it.”

Jason reached out and grabbed Tim by the waist, pulling him into a close hug. Pressing his face into the cool fall of the hair at Tim’s temple, Jason breathed in deep.

“OK, that’s fine. Just… stay with me, yeah?” Jason murmured into Tim’s hair. “It’s been a long night, and I just want to feel you next to me.”

Tim let out a soft sigh and finally wrapped his arms around Jason as well. He gave Jason a quick, gentle squeeze.

“Alright. I could use some sleep,” Tim agreed.

Jason pulled off the rest of his uniform while Tim slipped out of his. Jason watched with amusement as Tim rummaged through Jason’s drawers until he found a pair of sweatpants and an oversized Knights sweatshirt to pull on. 

Then they both slid under the blankets of Jason’s bed, curling up together. Tim shivered and snuggled closer into Jason’s arms.

“You need more blankets.”

“No, I do not. I got these flannel sheets just for you. I roast in these things,” Jason said, chafing his hands down Tim’s back to produce warmth. “Maybe you just need more blood.”

Tim stilled in his arms then, muscles going rigid and tense. Jason didn’t even feel Tim breathe for what felt like several long moments.

“Uuuuuuhhh, I’m guessing that was a bad joke…” Jason ventured, trying to tilt his head in a direction that would let him see Tim’s eyes.

Tim suddenly took a deep breath and propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at Jason.

“You might actually not be wrong about that,” Tim said, eyes flashing as the silver in his irises expanded and retracted again.

“Whaaaa?” Jason asked, feeling out of depth and a little off balance.

Tim tilted his head to one side thoughtfully before slipping back down fully under the blankets again. He rolled half on top of Jason and tucked his head under Jay’s chin. Pulling the blankets up to his neck, Tim pressed his face into the skin of Jason’s neck and just breathed in deeply for a while.

"I jsut said that you might be right. Maybe I don't have as much blood as a normal human anymore," Tim said in a thoughtful ton of voice. "I never really thought of it that way before, but it does make sense to some extent."

"What do you mean 'normal human', you're normal," Jason said, defensively. He reached out a a hand to tilt Tim's head back so Jason could look into his eyes.

His blue and silver eyes.

"I'm not though," Tim said softly. "I was, but I'm not now. We don't need to pretend here, Jason."

"Ok, so you're not a normal human. You're extraordinary in a lot of ways," Jason began but Tim shook his head.

"It's fine, Jason. I'm not-- I'm not hung up over it. I remember what it was like to be a normal human and I'm not-- I"m not that much different, most of the time..."

"Most of the time?" Jason asked.

"Yeah, let's go with most of the time," Tim said.

"I just--"Jason started and then broke off, not sure exactly how to phrase what he wanted to say. "I just don't want you to feel like you're--"

"Different? Something else? So far removed from human that this, what we're doing right now, what we feel for each other and do for each either is strange or bad or wrong?"

"Pretty much exactly that, yeah," Jason agree.

"I don't," Tim said simply. "Feel that way, I mean. My connection with you, it's-- It reminds me of how I felt and lived before..."

"Before you kidnapped?" Jason asked, quietly.

Tim took a deep breath and hid his face in the crook of Jason's neck again. He nodded slowly in response and Jason felt Tim's arm wrap a little more tightly around his waist.

"Yeah, that," Tim said.

"You don't talk about it. What happened. What he did to you."

"I don't-- I don't really exactly know what he did to me," Tim said thickly. "I mean I know what I experienced and I know what changed about me but I don't know the details. I don't know what he meant to do, where he succeeded and where he failed and I can't decide--"

Tim broke off, shaking his head back and forth silently for a few long moments.

"You can't decide what?" Jason prompted.

"I can't decide whether it's better or worse this way. I can't decide if I'd rather not know the full extent of what he had in store for me or if I desperately wished I knew so at least then I could feel like I understood things a little better but--"

Tim took a deep shuddering breath and Jason pressed a soft, comforting kiss to his temple.

"I can't ever decide which of those things is true? I sort of go between feeling each of them. Sometimes one at a time and sometimes all together. I guess I... I don't really know what that makes me. A coward or--"

Jason cut Tim off then, hauling Tim fully on top of him and holding him close.

"You're a lot of things, Timothy Jackson Drake. You're a pain in the ass. You're a total snoop. You're too headstrong and too bossy. You're a workaholic and you don't sleep enough. But one thing you're not and will never be is a coward."

Tim gave Jason a sort of wry smile and settled in more comfortably on top of him.

"Trauma makes us feel all different ways. There are days when I wish I'd never even laid eyes on the Joker and days I'm grateful shit went down like it did because I had the strength to set out on my own and the wisdom to be my own man. You can feel a lot of ways about things. That doesn't mean one way is better than the other. It just means that humans, and you are a human, are complex and multifaceted. And that's fine."

Tim nodded thoughtfully and was silent for a long moment before speaking again.

"You think it's fine?" he finally asked, uncertain.

"Sure, I do," Jason said confidently. "Not everything in this world needs to be black and white. Part of the reason I left Bruce to strike out on my own is because I didn't really see the world in the same way he did anymore. I'm not sure I ever did so much as I went along with him because he was big and strong and gave me the chance to be something better than I could have ever dreamed of."

"It wasn't just him..." Tim ventured and Jason shook his head.

"No some of it was me. But at the beginning, a lot of it was gratitude. I'm glad he gave me the tools he did so I can be who I am. But I decided to use them in the ways that I see fit. Not the ways he does. And I think I'm a better man for it."

Tim nodded and pressed a soft kiss to the underside of Jason's jaw before nuzzling the same spot gently for a moment.

"I think you are, too," Tim said softly.

Jason felt himself smiling, despite himself. His heart was still pounding a little at the stress of saying a whole lot of things that he had never really verbalized before. He never really gave himself the opportunity to examine his motivations and reasoning for why he left Bruce. If he had to be honest with himself, he would admit that he was worried that if he thought about it too much he would come to the conclusion that he left because he was selfish and single minded.

It felt good to come to terms with the fact that he had made the right decision for the right reasons and that leaving Bruce behind hadn't been selfish. It had been a moment of growth. For both of them.

Feeling another soft kiss tickle at the corner of his jaw, Jason tilted his head down to kiss Tim softly on the mouth.

Tim... Tim understood Jason, in a lot of ways he didn't expect. It was nice to be able to talk to a person who knew what he was like to suffer and struggle and hate and fear but come out on the other side a mostly whole and human person.

"It's fine, if you don't like blood," Jason said finally. "I get it. I don't really like it either."

Tim took a deep breath and looked up at Jason through long, thick, dark eyelashes.

"I still want-- I still want to help you when I can. When you're hurt. I don't want you to hide it from me," Tim said softly, running a gentle hand over one of the bandages on Jason's chest.

"So long as get to distract you afterwards," Jason promised, pressing another kiss to Tim's temple.

"That seems like an agreeable compromise," Tim said.

Tim fell asleep almost immediately after Jason turned out the light that night. His soft, even breathing, played at the hair on Jason's neck. Jason decided that there probably wasn't a sensation he liked more in the world that that.

Holding Tim close, Jason wondered, briefly, what it was about the blood and the bandages that had set Tim off. What experience had left him so scared that a couple of cat scratches would have him so off balance and on edge.

Jason wondered briefly if he would ever know. 

 

Tim scattered bits and pieces of what had happened to him through conversation every now and then but he never gave details. There were a lot of blanks that Jason could make some guesses to fill in but--

Jason wasn't really sure about any of them.

Jason knew that Bruce started a file on Tim Drake/Dusk. He knew the file was deep and detailed. Jason hadn't read it yet. He didn't want to. He wanted Tim to tell him things on his own, in his own time, at his own pace.

In the meantime, having Tim asleep in his arms was more than enough.

Jason drifted off to sleep to the sound a contented sleepy sigh from Tim.


End file.
